NFL tight end Kellen Winslow was recently caught masturbating in his Escalade in the middle of a Target parking lot. And I thought I was excited about the playoffs!
Along with his exposed erection, police also found two open jars of Vaseline and two different types of synthetic marijuana. When questioned, the embarrassed and obviously high Winslow told police he was looking for a Boston Market. Insert gratuitous, chicken-choking reference here. Winslow was subsequently arrested.
As precarious a situation as Mr. Winslow found himself in, he is going to have to try a little harder than that to crack my list of The Top Five Most Famous Sports Penises of All-Time.